You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.You can say 115 degrees without fainting.You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over 100 degrees.You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves.You discover, in July, that it only takes two fingers to drive your car.You can make sun tea instantly.You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.You realize that Valley Fever isn’t a disco dance.Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.You can (correctly) pronounce the words:‘Saguaro, ‘Tempe, ‘Gila Bend, ‘San Xavier, ‘Canyon de Chelly, ‘Mogollon Rim, ‘Cholla, and‘Tlaquepaque.It’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets.You actually burn your hand opening the. As if in slow motion I hear a crack and feel warm liquid spray over my face. He climbs off me screaming and shouting all kinds of words even the devil himself would blush at, it doesn't take him long though to recover and come stomping towards me with painful intentions in his eyes, my anger still burns inside me and I struggle against Jim's hands wanting to punch them both "Tony stop" quicker than I thought possible Jim stands in front of me with his hands against Tony's chest"Move out of my way James that little bitch needs a lesson in respect" he growls trying to push against Jim "NO BRUISES" Jim shouts pushing him hard making him stumble and fall to the ground"Are you fucking k**ding me? Look what she fucking did" he points to his nose now streaming steadily with his blood I can't help myself as a laugh builds up and escapes my lips bringing both men to stare at me "You think this is funny bitch?" Tony yells over Jim's shoulder causing my hysterics to start all over again as his.
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